Those Late Summer Nights

I’m delighted to report that the first few days of the Ready For Beddy Challenge have been very successful, in no small part because the changing of the seasons has led to suddenly cooler, more gorgeous evenings than I have seen in months.

Sunday night, Owen and I treated ourselves to a night beside the fire pit with glasses of red wine, and let me tell you…that was a great way to end the weekend. Sipping a rich Malbec, watching the sparks flying and the fireflies blinking against the darkness of the trees as the sky turned from deep orange to dark blue, then black…I simply love this time of year. There is a quality to the light that we all know when we see it, that slanting, deep golden sun that brings to mind fresh backpacks and notebooks for a new school year, and the scent of woodsmoke and dead leaves. I just love this time of year, and I was able to sit and appreciate it that night in a way I haven’t done in what feels like years.

It hasn’t been easy for me to carve out the time at the end of the day, at that point when I’m normally trying to squeeze in whatever I forgot to get done earlier on, but I can’t deny that my headspace when I get into bed at night has been so much clearer and more relaxed that it’s incredible. I really encourage anyone to try this for at least three or four nights in a row, see how they feel, and get back to me! Tell me if it worked for you!

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  Now For October Eves

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The advent of October is always thrilling to me, and that’s not just because October 1st is my birthday. This is the day when it’s officially “acceptable” (for those who care about that sort of thing) to start going crazy with Halloween decorations and pumpkins, to cover everything in colored leaves, to fill jars with candy, and cut out cookies in the shapes of bats and witches’ hats and cauldrons.

This, if you believe the old, old stories, is the time of year when the whispering veil between the mortal and immortal worlds is at its thinnest. Many have postulated that astral travel and ghost sightings are most common in people when they are between sleeping and waking, so perhaps it should come as no surprise that, when the Earth is tilting towards its own long sleep, ghosts roam more freely through its woods and lonely places.

The creatures that go bump in the night change their shapes depending on who’s looking. Sometimes they’re familiar, someone we’ve known and lost, and certain traditions are meant to keep their memory alive within the living. An extra place is set at the table, their favorite foods are prepared, and small offerings are made at their graves, either to honor or placate.

Sometimes the figures are stranger and older, figures from long past that remain and wander restlessly, searching. For what, who can say? Revenge, perhaps. Or justice. Or peace. Only the dead will ever know.

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And then, in the hollows of the hills and the darkness of bogs and woods, are those creatures whose natures are mischievous and malevolent by turns, the goblins and faeries and sneaking little sprites that wreak havoc on unsuspecting folk. These are the ones for whom those leering Jack-O-Lanterns are carved, set out on front steps to frighten away those that seek to tease or torment. And in a last-ditch effort, if those glowing orange grins aren’t enough to keep the beasties away, we hand out candy to satisfy them and hope they continue onto some other hapless soul.

I love this season. Redolent with fantastic dangers, hair-raising stories, and an unsettling scent of earth and dead leaves in the air, October is the harbinger of darkness and the unseen. There is nothing quite so as enjoyable to me as letting a little of that chilly darkness in, and then pushing it back again with the candlelight and warmth of hearth and home.

Do you have any Halloween traditions? What is on your ‘To-Do List’ this October?

Creating A Sacred Space

Close up Halloween flowers candle

There really is something to be said about the power of surroundings. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that as a race, human beings have created distinct locations for different parts of our lives to take place. We have a separate building for prayer and worship than the one we live in, or at least a separate room if we can. We don’t often bury our dead in the same yard where we host summer barbecues. We don’t have the tables where we eat most of our meals in the same room as our beds (obviously if you live in London or Manhattan you can just laugh at that statement because having more than one room is a luxury). We compartmentalize, we separate, we distinguish.

Recently I undertook a complete redecoration of my office. The walls were dirty white and streaked or scuffed with god knows what, the furniture was second-hand fake wood veneer, there was no storage, and the whole vibe of the room was one of…disarray. Shockingly, it didn’t take all that much to drastically change the feel; $200 at Ikea for some new shelves, space rug, and decor; $35 at Walmart for flat grey paint and brushes; $15-$35 here and there for candles, everlasting floral (I prefer that term to “fake” hehe), and a new lamp…BOOM. It’s like an entirely new room. It’s so inviting and comfortable that I have caught my boyfriend in here reading when I’m not home, despite the fact that he’s fairly averse to pink.

It took me a few weeks since I don’t make much money, but I spend so much time in this room that not enjoying being here would make it really unpleasant to do my job. Now, I simply love being in my office.

It occurred to me the other day that while it may sound silly, there is ritual in everything we do, even the most mundane daily tasks. So why is it that we reserve the ceremony surrounding rituals almost exclusively for worship? In fact, introducing a feeling of ceremony in more aspects of our lives would probably make us slow down and appreciate the moment more; it would give us a reason to stop, take a deep breath, and acknowledge where we are.

Writing Ritual

I decided to put the idea to the test, and created a small “ceremony” for myself that I would perform before I began to write. Most writers know that there is nothing more difficult than making yourself sit down and simply write, without first doing laundry, or eating, or checking Facebook, etc. I thought that perhaps identifying the very moment when it was “time to write” would help me to define that block of time and give it distinctive boundaries.

Here is what I did: I put on my pajamas, turned on Pandora to a baroque station, put a fireplace screen-saver on my computer, put a 1 hour timer on my phone and set it out of reach on the windowsill, and lit a candle. Instead of writing on my computer I had decided a notebook and pen had far less potential to be distracting.

It was incredible. In one hour, I got more brainstorming and ideas rolling around than I had in months. The atmosphere made my mind wake up, calmed the voices that always pulled me in six different directions, and focused my attention like a laser. An hour went by so quickly that I thought I’d set the alarm wrong on my phone.

I decided to try something similar with podcasting, and the same thing happened. I was in the zone, in every sense. And when it was time to stop, I stood from my desk and blew the candle out…and that was it. Podcasting time was over. There was no sense of that work following me out to the living room like there sometimes was. It felt as absolute as if I were closing a book and putting it back on a shelf, almost as if blowing out the candle was like hitting the “Power” button to shut everything down.

It’s a common lament that people spend so much time on their phones that they miss their actual life passing right by them as they stare at a screen, imagining a different life entirely. The issue with blaming the phones themselves is that phones aren’t going anywhere, so how do you solve the problem?

I think that I’ve hit on an aspect of it: set boundaries. It’s easy to just tell people “pay attention”, but as human beings we need more clarity, a more definitive start and end to things. I believe now that ceremonies are a beautiful, interesting way to define those beginnings and endings. Ceremony connects with us in a way that mere words like “Now it’s time to write!” simply don’t. When my boyfriend and I watch movies we have been lighting a candle on the coffee table and putting our phones in a basket on top of a bookshelf across the room. The difference in experience is startling, and has so much more depth than it ever did before.

I hope that these ideas have resonated with someone out there. For now, it’s time for me to go blow out my candle and make a cup of tea. See you next time.